You need to be transparent and vulnerable”, they say.
“You need to let people get to know the real you”.
You get it. Those ideas seem legit, so you give it a try. You try
out the “friendship thing”. You try to get to know someone and let them get to
know you. You tiptoe into the waters of trust. You invest. You care - A LOT.
You start to let them see your true feelings, opinions, and emotions. You start
to feel a sense of loyalty from them, and so you feel like it’s safe to
reciprocate. After some more time passes, you decide you really CAN show your
true-self, flaws and all. Finally! This actually feels like a genuine friendship!
You are all in now. You may even think, “Wow, I’m glad to took the risk. This is a solid friendship.” You
start to relax. You feel like you matter to someone and they matter to you.
Then it comes. Unexpectedly. The thing you dreaded from
the start. The reason you’ve always had a hard time letting your guard down.
Betrayal. That one word carries a lot with it. Maybe lies were told, maybe gossip was spread, maybe slander played a part. No matter what form it takes, it's painful. Or maybe, suddenly, something causes them to just exit your life, just as easy as
they entered. You don’t even really know why. They give a reason that doesn’t
make sense, or worse yet, they give no reason at all. Maybe they didn’t really like the “real you”. After all, you aren’t like them. But how could you be? You are YOU. Maybe you
no longer meet their expectations. Maybe your honesty brings too much challenge. You
want to work through the challenges, but unfortunately, they don’t. It’s easier
for them to just walk away. Maybe you met their needs for a time, but now they don’t
need you anymore.
You find yourself back at the beginning. Square one. Except, not really, because this beginning doesn't come with a "clean slate". This
time, you start over with more hurt, more scars, more walls for the next potential friend to
run into.
Relationships are difficult.
Allowing ourselves to trust another person requires
courage. Knowing when to take a step back, and be guarded requires wisdom.
Stepping out again and again after being hurt, requires bravery.
Thankfully, we have someone we can FULLY trust. Someone
who will never walk away. Jesus. Yes, to me, His name is a complete sentence,
because He is EVERYTHING I need and so much more. He experienced more pain and
betrayal in His life on earth, than I could ever begin to imagine. Yet, even
still, even through all of the pain, He willingly gave up His life, so that we
might live. He loved us that much!
I’m still trying to learn what it really means to love my
neighbor as myself (Matthew 22:39), to really forgive others (Colossians 3:13)
to trust, yet guard my heart in the process (Proverbs 4:23). But one thing I
know without a doubt, is that I have a God who will never leave me (Deuteronomy
31:6) and He sticks closer to me than a brother (or any friend) ever could (Proverbs 18:24).
