Losing Control

“It’s dangerous.  I’m too busy.  They need to clean up their own mess.  I’m not getting involved in the chaos.  Racial slur this, racist comment that…..”
The list of excuses just go on and on.
Excuses people give to avoid DOING something.  
I’ve seen countless people post things on social media about the current situation in Ferguson, people who haven’t even ever BEEN to Ferguson, let alone been there during this time of civil unrest. 
I’m not going to give my opinion on the matter of the shooting, because I personally wasn't there.  No one reading this blog was either. 
Here’s the thing.  I grew up in Ferguson.  Lived there for 28 years.  So yeah, I might have different feelings about this situation than someone who has never grown up in a neighborhood like I did.  Today my family (even our 9 & 7 year old) went back to Ferguson.  The same area that you see on TV. Yup, the same streets.  Why? Because there is a need. We went there to pick up trash and to be a positive presence on the street.  We encountered business owners, store workers, protestors, and other locals while we were there.  I can tell you that every single person we spoke to, was kind, spoke of peace, and thanked us (even hugged us) for being there.  There was even a car driving down the street that stopped and gave us bottles of water.  I was even interviewed on camera by an MSNBC reporter, just trying to report the good happening in the area (because there IS good happening). All this was taking place while people lined the streets in peaceful, daytime protest.  Here are some pictures from our time there:




Now that night has fallen, things have changed once again. There is more civil unrest as there has been for the past week.
As I sit here in my “safe” house, in my “safe” neighborhood, I can’t help but feel “unrest” myself.  I am feeling so many emotions right now.  Feelings of sadness, disappointment, frustration….but at the same time, I have feelings of love, thankfulness, and compassion.
“Be careful!” they say….when people hear of other doing something a little “risky”.  I’m pretty sure we aren’t called to “careful” lives.  This is why I re-named by blog.  I’m calling it Recklessly Losing Control.  Why? Because God does not call us to sit in our safe homes and do nothing.  When we know of a need, we should do everything we can to meet it.  And I’m not just talking about Ferguson, there are needs in every community.  But in order to meet the needs of others, we have to first deny ourselves and our own wants.  We have to love others RECKLESSLY. What I know for sure is – THIS LIFE IS NOT ABOUT US. We are here to love God, and love people (know God and make Him known).  THAT’S IT. It’s not about our comfort.  It’s not about our wants.  It’s not even about our safety.  It’s about HIM and what HE wants us to do, no matter how uncomfortable it might make us.  
We have to LOSE CONTROL…..give up.  Surrender to HIS perfect will.  That might mean leaving your “safe” place, and going into a neighborhood that makes you feel a little uncomfortable in order to show God’s love. 
My daughter was singing a song today that she learned in school (which was so appropriate given what we did today). These are the lyrics:
Do you know, Oh Christian, you’re a sermon in shoes? Do you know, Oh Christian, you’re a sermon in shoes? Jesus calls upon you, to spread the gospel news,
So walk it, and talk it. 
Live it, and give it.
Teach it, and preach it. 
Know it, and show it.
A Sermon in Shoes.
Yeah, it’s a kid’s song, but to me it has a lot of meaning today.  People can see Christ in us just by the way we walk, talk, live, & give….
All I did today was sweep up some trash.  It didn’t cost me anything except my time. But I believe people were able to see God’s love just by my family SERVING their neighborhood.  I didn’t even have to say a word. 
My challenge to you – LOSE CONTROL
Ask God what you can do to serve Him and serve others. And then when He shows you something, DO IT. Don’t list all the excuses….just obey.  Get outside of your comfort zone.  There are people hurting…everywhere….from all walks of life.  They are all seeking love.  Let’s put our love into ACTION.

For Goodness Sake

I only blog when I feel like what I have to say is worth others reading; which is probably why I don’t blog much.  But today is one of those days when I feel like I have something worth sharing. 

Lately I’ve been thinking about what it really means to love others.  After all, it made the top two list of commandments: #1 Love the Lord your God and #2 Love your neighbor as yourself.  It sounds so easy when you hear someone say we should “love others”, right? But what does that really look like, and how should those of us who call ourselves Christians live that out?

The command to “love your neighbor” is repeated several times throughout scripture.  In fact, Jesus said that the entire law is fulfilled when that one commandment is obeyed.  (Galatians 5:14)  So I’d say it’s pretty important to make sure we are actually LOVING people!

Its seems like “we” (Americans) spend a lot of time deciding whether or not we should help someone who has a need. Maybe the thought has crossed your mind, “What if they use the money for something they shouldn’t?” or maybe you’ve thought, “Well, they got themselves into this mess, they need to figure a way out” or maybe even, “They won’t learn if people constantly bail them out all the time”.  Or what about, “I’m low on money myself right now, there’s no way I can help them…I’ll just pray for them.”  (all of these are either excuses we can find ourselves using if we aren’t careful).  All of which are very self-centered responses. 

1 John 3:17 says: If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? 

People have needs….REAL needs.  Needs can be financial, physical, spiritual, material…but if all we Christians do when we hear about their need is say “oh, I’m sorry to hear that, I’ll be praying for you.”  How does that show a non-believer that we really LOVE them? I understand that we all fall on hard times financially.  That we don’t all have money in abundance to just hand out to people, but we ALL have SOMETHING we can do to help others in need.  Even if we don’t have the finances ourselves to meet a need, we can always ask other believers around us if they might feel called to come together and even combine resources together to make it work.  There is ALWAYS SOMETHING we can do to show people that we really love and care about them, just as we love and care for ourselves. 

Here’s a question to ask yourself.  If Jesus himself told you that he needed some food and some clothing, would your response to him be, “Sorry Jesus, but I’m low on money this week” ? Or would you give him some of your food and clothes?  Or at least hurry up and call some friends until you found someone that could help him out?  I’m sure we would all choose the latter option.  So why is it any different with our neighbors?  We are COMMANDED to love people.  It’s not optional if you call yourself a Christ follower.  Matthew 25:31-46 is exactly what I’m talking about (it’s a bit long, but take a minute to read it)

When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with Him, He will sit on His glorious throne.  All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on His left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.

^**For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,  I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.** 

Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.  For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

***“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’***

So MOVE!  Do something that matters for the Kingdom! See a need and figure out a way to meet it!  It could be as simple as sending someone a card telling them they are on your mind.  It could be just going and visiting with someone who is lonely.  Maybe you feel led to cook a little extra one night and take some food to someone who wouldn’t be able to eat otherwise.  You never know what meeting someone’s need could do for them.  By experiencing Christ’s love for them first hand through YOU, they could come to know Him for themselves. 

There is someone out there right now, praying for a miracle.  Praying, or just simply hoping against all hope that their need will be met.  Perhaps YOU are one that God is calling upon to be His hands and feet. 

For goodness sake…LOVE.

Fellowship of the Unashamed

I found this writing in a pile of Bible notes that I have had for years and decided I must share it with all of you.  While there seems to be some discrepancies of who the author is, the story I would like to go with is that an African missionary was martyred for his faith and this was found tacked on his wall. No matter who wrote it, it’s worth posting. It’s powerfully written and I hope you find it to be just what you need today. Here it is:

I’m part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I’m a disciple of Jesus. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I’m finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way rough, my companions few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won’t give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problems recognizing me – for my banner is clear!

I am part of the “Fellowship of the Unashamed”.

Say What??

When you attend most any church, what is one of the first things that the service always begins with? Music, or a “time of worship”.  I’m sure most people know that there are other ways to worship God, but it seems that music is one of the fastest ways we as humans are able to connect and focus in on God. 

Music is powerful, so it just makes sense to start a church service with music.  Lately though, God has really been working in my heart during those times (at church and at home). Worship for me is a big deal.  It’s a time when I can tune out the rest of the world, and solely focus on my creator – what He wants to say to me, and sometimes, what I need to say to Him.  I take the words to the songs very seriously.  I don’t sing words that I don’t mean…afterall, I use those words to bring me into a conversation with the almighty God.  So, lately I have been really focusing on the words to a few songs, and then I wondered….are other people around me really thinking about what we are singing??  Or are these just catchy songs that stir up different emotions that everyone is just singing together? Here are 3 songs that have really hit me lately with some truth. I’m just going to write some of the lyrics that have really played a part in snapping me into reality:

The first one is – Pursuit:

When we sing those lyrics, do we really understand what we are asking God to do??  We are asking Him to strip EVERYTHING away, until all we have is HIM.  Do you know how painful that process could be?  Where that could lead us? What things or people we might have to purge from our life? That is a big and BOLD thing to ask God to do in us.  Do we REALLY want Him to strip EVERYTHING away that is standing in the way of HIS will for our lives?

And then there is - Oceans:

It says “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me.”

What does it mean to trust without borders??  To me, it would mean that I would have to step out into the unknown, into a place that I have no control of myself, into a place or situation that would cause me to cling ONLY to my God. And that I might be asked to do things that I’m quite frankly uncomfortable with!  “Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander; and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.” Do we really want God to take us deeper than our feet could ever wander on our own, knowing that it will test our faith in the process?? 

The last song is “All I need is You”.  That is really all that song says, repeatedly, over and over.  IS God ALL we really NEED??  Have we gotten to the point as a church where we know this to be true?  That no matter what circumstances come our way, no matter how hard life gets, no matter what “bad” comes our way, we know that ALL we need is Him. 

I can honestly say that I have gotten to a place in my own personal relationship with Jesus, that I CAN now sing each of these songs and mean what I’m singing with everything that I am.  I still struggle at times with asking Him to strip everything away that might be preventing His will for my life; but I just keep giving him my fears and concerns, knowing that He is bringing me through a teaching process.  And I am finding that in the surrender it gets easier and easier to rely on Him. The reason that I can sing these lyrics now and know that I mean them is because my God has proven Himself to be faithful to me over and over AND over again.  He has never left me. And I can say with confidence that I know He never will.  Even if I were to lose my entire family, or everything that I owed…I know that God is still on His throne, and still loving me through it all. 

My challenge to whoever reads this would be to really think about the words of the songs you sing.  Music is powerful and so are the words we speak and sing.  Ask God to reveal Himself to you in a whole new way.  Don’t be afraid to worship Him in whatever way you feel.  If you need to put your hands up, do it.  If you need to get on your knees, do it.  If you need to stand in silence, do it.  We are free to worship in whatever way we want, and I encourage you to do just that – to connect to your creator, perhaps in a way you never have.  And be honest with yourself and Him (He already knows your thoughts anyway). He is always there, with arms wide open.  We just have to run into them. 

11 Lessons in 11 Years

11 years….That’s about 132 months, 572 weeks, and 4,015 days!

This is us in 2002 (a few days after we met)

February 8, 2003 I married the man I had just met. We had only known each other for six months before our wedding day. To the world, that might have seemed like a crazy thing to do (and they might have been right). But, God knew exactly what He was doing when He brought us together, and when He gave us the “ok” to move so quickly. Over the last 11 years, we have been through so many crazy things together. We have laughed, cried, fought, made up, had 2 kids, went through 7 cars, had 3 dogs, 2 homes, attended 3 churches, we have shared happiness and loss….

Our Wedding Day

Through it all, I have learned so much. More than I could possibly write in this blog; but I decided to write about 11 things that marriage has taught me over the past 11 years.

I have learned:

1. It’s ok to marry someone that is the complete opposite of you. For some reason, people think that if they can say “we have soooo much in common” that is what determines if someone is a good match for them. And that is simply not a mandatory pre-requisite for marriage. You can still find commonalities if you put in the work. As long as you have your faith in common, all the other little details really don’t matter.

2. Being a parent is HARD work, especially when you have children shortly after you are married and are still learning what that even means. Throw a baby into the mix, and things get really interesting. I was blessed with a man who shares my parenting views! Because of that, we have been a huge support to each other as we parent our children.

3. Finances are tricky, budgeting is tough, and credit cards are of the devil! Ha! We started our marriage in debt, but within 5 years, we were completely debt-free and were able to buy a home without any other debt. That’s what happens when you do it God’s way. We have always given to Him first, and He has been faithful to get us through every financial obstacle we have ever encountered.

4. Very quickly after you get married, the person who used to only see you at your best will become the only person who is allowed to see you at your worst. Whether it’s a fever, vomitting, snotting… your spouse is the one person who will see you in this very unflattering state and will still continue to love you through it all. My husband has watched me go through all sorts of illnesses and has always been there to help me through each unexplained one. In sickness and in health we are there for each other.

5. Your relationship must be built to outlast the kids! You create romance, where and when you can, and life isn’t always romantic. Car trouble, an over-flowing toilet, and electricity bills are not romantic. Neither are two kids who are only quiet when they are sleeping. You have to be intentional in spending time together – just the two of you. In a marriage the kids should NOT be your #1…It should be your relationship with God, then your spouse, THEN the kids; because when the kids are grown, you will need to have a close, intimate relationship with your spouse.

6. I am my biggest problem. It is all too easy to point the finger when things aren’t going my way. If I remember that I am a sinner in need of God’s constant mercy and grace, my entire perspective shifts. Instead of digging out splinters in my husband’s eye, I must first address the log in my own.

7. When Christ is the center, everything else falls into place! There have been times of financial struggle, trying physical circumstances, and painful moments of loss and grief. Yet I’ve been so blessed to find that as we seek the Lord first, our bond with each other grows stronger, and God mercifully supplies all of our needs. Time in the Word, and prayer (both separately and as a couple) is crucial.

8. Have FUN with each other! It’s easy to get into an everyday routine of life and forget to laugh and have fun. It’s ok to joke with each other and act like kids again!

9. Marriage is a ministry. Not only is marriage a ministry to your spouse (the more you love your spouse the way God loves us, the more solid your marriage becomes), but it is a ministry to the world around you. I know now that God brought my husband and I together to serve Him and others - together. How awesome that I get to serve along side my husband, doing whatever God calls us to do, as a TEAM! I couldn’t imagine serving with anyone else!

10. I have learned to “cleave” (and cleave hard!) to my husband! Genesis 2:24 says “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” The word cleave means: to stick fast to, to adhere strongly to. I have learned throughout the years, that while good friends are a blessing, they aren’t mandatory when you have a healthy marriage. When you marry someone, the two of you become ONE and you are each other’s best friend. I can honestly say I don’t have many friends. I don’t have friends that I share intimate details of my life with. I share those things solely with my husband. We know we can trust each other, and we know we have each other’s best interest at heart. It’s a really good feeling to know I will ALWAYS have someone I can trust, count on, and share with…for the rest of my life.

11. Lastly, I have learned that with God ALL things are possible. No matter what life throws as us, our marriage CAN and WILL weather each storm, by God’s grace…and only by His grace.

While so much has happened in the last eleven years, the time has flown by. I pray I never take for granted the amazing man God has given me, the children that have made our house a home, and the love that we share as a family. I can’t wait for the next 11 years!

I love you, Kory Kimbrell!

Here are some pictures of us throughout the years:

2004

2005

2006

2007

2008

2009

2010

2011

2012

Ready or not!!!

I’m sure almost every American knows that phrase from the childhood game of hide and seek. It’s a phrase that usually accompanies happiness, laughter and squeals of joy.  But this past week, I heard it said by my husband and it brought on a whole new set of feelings and emotions. 

I was recently asked to be one of 4 speakers at a women’s event at our church. While I am NOT a fan of public speaking, (you could more accurately describe me as having a FEAR of public speaking) I willingly said YES.  When I got off the phone, I thought to myself “What in the world did you just agree to, Amy!” All I really had was a message title and a vague idea of what I should speak on. 

I immediately began to pray and seek God, asking Him to help me to know exactly what HE wanted me to talk about.

I began scribbling notes down here and there (and everywhere), when a thought would pop into my head.  A few days before I was supposed to speak, I was still struggling with what I was even going to talk about.  I had crossed so much out, that I was left with almost nothing.  I went to my husband (who I admire for his ability to speak and communicate God’s word) and asked if he could help me organize my thoughts (at this point, my notes and thoughts were so scatterbrained that I was getting worried that I wasn’t going to make any sense when I got up to speak).  He told me to calm down, that it would all work out. He gave me some tips on how to write out my notes. So I scrapped what I had and started ALL OVER.   This time when I sat down to write, I felt God’s presence immediately take over.  I was able to write something that made sense!  Perfect sense!  I knew God was giving me exactly what to say. 

My notes were ready, and I had my story.  I read what I had to Kory and he assured me that it all made sense.

The night of the event, my nerves really kicked into high gear.  I went to my husband again for reassurance.  Instead of the reassuring words I was hoping for, he said “Babe, ready or not, it’s happening, you can’t escape it!”  Those words felt like a kick in the gut. I couldn’t turn back now!  I couldn’t call up our women’s leader and say “sorry, I don’t feel comfortable speaking after all.  Nope! This was it.  It was time…time to face my fear and share exactly what God has laid on my heart.  I prayed all the way to church, asking God to help me to communicate what He had given me, but more importantly, I prayed that someone (even just ONE lady) would be encouraged by my message. 

When it was my turn to speak, I felt at ease and all of my nerves seemed to fade away.  Since that night, I have had several women come to me and thank me for my message.  God DID work through me, even with my fears and doubts!  It’s crazy really, because I know He never leaves me or lets me down, so I don’t know why I was expecting anything less.  All glory goes to HIM.

Now, back to the “ready or not” phrase. 

I believe it applies to us as Christians. I believe that we are given so many opportunities to share with others, to serve and love and give, that we sometimes let those opportunities slip right through our hands.

Each one of us has a choice of whether or not to follow God's will for our lives. If we choose to reject God's will then He will find someone else to do it and we will suffer the consequences for our disobedience. 

Take Esther for example,

Esther obeyed the will of God without any thought for her life. She could have very easily attempted to preserve her own life, but instead she pushed aside thoughts of her own safety for the good of her people. She submitted to God's will for her life and God used her in a great capacity because of it.
Whatever God's will is for our lives, we need not shy away from it! God will provide us with the tools we need to do His will. If we will merely submit to Him, He will make it possible for us to accomplish whatever He calls us to do.

2 Timothy 4:2 (NLT) says: Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not.

Blessings!

-Amy 

A year’s worth of “hurry”

Certain personality types require every minute to be accounted for.  One might feel the need to constantly be checking things off a “to do” list, or feel an urgency to immediately give an account to the electronic world by instantly answering texts, emails, social media alerts.  This past year I found myself falling into that trap – the trap of distractions. 

I found myself constantly rushing everyone (especially my children).  I caught myself saying things like:

“hurry up and eat”

“why must you take so long getting dressed?”

“hurry up and get in the car, we’re going to be late!”

With my personality type, I find it necessary to be on time and have every aspect of my life in order.  The only problem is, it’s not just me that lives in my house.  I have been blessed with family members who live life a bit more “leisurely” than I do. This is especially true for my 8 year old daughter, who at times I feel purposefully moves in slow motion just to see how I will react.  This past year I found myself getting very frustrated when things weren’t moving along in the time frame that I felt they needed to. 

One day recently, my kids and I were driving home from visiting some family we hadn’t seen in quite awhile, when I had an overwhelming “God experience” in the car.  I was suddenly driving at the exact time that God had decided to paint the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen.  My kids were happy in the backseat, playing their games, when I told them to turn them off and look at artwork around them.  I explained to them how God took the time to paint the sky just for us!  They were amazed.  It seemed like the “painting” kept changing minute by minute.  I handed my phone back to my daughter and had her snap some photos of the beauty.  I know that the pictures don’t do it justice, but at least you will get an idea of what we were seeing on the drive home that evening:

 

Somehow through watching that sunset, God reminded me of the importance of the PEOPLE He has placed in my life and that they deserve my focus more than all of the other things that fight for my attention.  I still believe it is important to be reliable, & on time for things, however I have learned that people won’t always be there. I have had a substantial amount of loss in my life, so it’s interesting to me how easy it is to still lose focus on what truly matters. 

So, while I could list all of the things I would like to do differently this year, I want my focus to instead to be on the people that I hold so dear to me.  In 2014, I resolve to slow down, let my kids take an extra minute or two (because in reality that’s all it every really is), and just live…in every moment of every day.  I know what they say is true, kids grow up so fast.  I’m already seeing that in my own two.  I want to hold on to these moments I have with them as long as I can; and this year, I refuse to let the busyness of schedules and my own agenda get in the way of experiencing each blessing God has for us, whether big or small! Speaking of blessings….here are the ones that I hold dearest to my heart.  Of course there are others, but these are the ones that have been with me through life’s ups and downs…

My two B-E-A-U-tiful kids

   The most PATIENT man I know, my sweet husband

My dad & step mom who have always been willing to rearrange their own schedules just to spend time with us. And when they are with my children, they help to affirm what Kory and I are teaching them at home about God and life.   

This year, I will live in the moment….