I will not conform!

Shocked. Sickened. Angry.

Those three words best describe the feelings that came over my husband and I this past weekend when our 9 year old brought his ipad to us, to show us the “cool game” I had just minutes before, given him permission to install.  

You guys, I did everything right. I read about the game.  I checked the suggested age for the game (ages 4+).  I even typed in the parental control password we have set, to give my permission to download the game.   Here it is:

It just your basic, "tap the ball carefully through each obstacle and your ball will switch color with some powerups" game.  My son asked my husband to try the game out, so he did. It was colorful and challenging. There was no problem until the advertisement videos for other free games played.  The ads were for a game called "Episode". It's a game that is "supposedly" suitable for ages 12+ (according to who, I'm not sure). I have an 11 year old and I can tell you that she will not be playing it.  I recorded one of the ads to share with you:

In case you can't view the video on your phone, it is two girls kissing.  The one says to the other, "let's keep this between us, ok? and the other says "what is somebody sees us".

Hopefully, that made you just as uncomfortable as it made us.  It should. Even if you don't have children, it should. But for my husband and I, knowing that our 9 year old had just watched that ad, made us more than uncomfortable. It made us angry.  After playing the game a bit longer (by now our son had run off to play outside) it played another video. I'm not going to post the other video, but I'll tell you about it. There was a girl trying to decide if she should  "get a closer look" at a half-naked man posing for a painting, or if she was too shy. There was a woman wearing lingerie saying "I don't look this sexy for nothing", trying to decide if she should wake up her drunk husband or divorce him. And it ended with "Adam and Eve" trying to decide if they should break up or "repopulate the earth". Some might find that funny.  I didn't.  Some might call me a prude. That's fine.  I am just trying to raise my children to know right from wrong, and I'm swimming in an ocean, surrounded by fish going the other direction. 

Whether we want to believe it or not, there is an agenda in our culture.  It's everywhere. It's on our TVs, in movies, magazines, social media, and yes, even in our app stores. There is a whole slew of things that are becoming more and more "acceptable" in our culture today because of the constant, ever present, "in your face" media.  Sex outside of marriage (in all forms), homosexuality, drunkeness, divorce, etc. etc.  Our culture is becoming more and more desensitized to these things. And by "our culture" this sadly, includes our children. Kids are becoming way too "knowledgeable", way too young, thanks to the constant outside influences. 

I'll compare it to the TV show The Walking Dead (yes, I watch it). The very first time I saw a zombie get killed, I jumped. It startled me,  even grossed me out a bit.  But by the 2nd season of the show, I was like "oh look...they're killing another zombie." *yawn* I've gotten used to it.  It doesn't seem scary or gross anymore like it did the first time.  

Unfortunately, the same thing happens with sin.  The more our culture throws sin in our faces at every turn, the more we become "used to it'.  We become more and more comfortable with what we are seeing. It doesn't "gross us out" like it did the first time we saw it.  It becomes an "oh, look...another girl sleeping with her boyfriend" *yawn* mentality...just like the zombies. In fact, so many people have BECOME just that....zombies. 

One of the definitions of the word zombie is: a person who is or appears lifeless, apathethic, or completely unresponsive to their surroundings

How fitting.  Sounds like so many Americans to me.

I don’t know about you, but I have no desire to be a zombie.

The Bible says “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that be testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” –Romans 12:2

How do we avoid conforming to the world’s standard? By the renewing of our mind!  We cannot allow our culture to determine our mindset, especially when it comes to sin.

1 Peter 1:13-16 says “Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, ‘You shall be holy for I am holy.’”

Those who are in Christ are to be set apart from the world.  We are to take a stand against sin.  However, in doing so, we will be hated.  Jesus was hated, so why should we expect anything less for ourselves as followers of Him?  In John 15:18-19, Jesus said, “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.  If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own, but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.”

There have been several people who publically claim to be believers, on social media in the past few weeks, who have said that we as Christians need to be more accepting of certain sins in order to "love people better". To me that is like saying that Jesus didn't know what He was talking about. That our culture has “evolved” and that now we know a better way to love people, so to do that, we need to be more accepting of sin. I disagree. Jesus gave us the blueprints (the Bible) for how to live in the world...even in our world today.  Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever! (Hebrews 13:8) The Bible still holds true today, just as it did 2,000 years ago.  

While we may feel like we are fighting an uphill battle against our culture, it is imperative that we still fight.  Our future depends on it.  Our children's futures depend on it.  Don't become complacent in a culture that would love nothing more. Take a stand.  

Please join me in saying "I will not conform!" 

I'm offended!

As I’ve said in past blog posts, I do my best to wait until I have something really pressing on my heart, before I share it publicly. I think sometimes we can over share; and I don’t ever want to write something and then regret it later, or wonder if I should have worded things differently. So I pray over these posts before I publish them. That being said, today, I’d like to talk about something that I see as a huge problem within the body of Christ, all across America, and that is how "we" as believers, handle offenses between our brothers and sisters in Christ. I know this is not a new issue. In fact, I’ve heard many sermons on this very thing. I guess what makes this particular problem come to the surface for me is that over the past couple of years, I’ve personally witnessed and experienced far too many mishandled situations when it comes to how the church goes about reconciling (or not reconciling) Christian relationships.

I want you to notice that in this post, I am referring to believers being sinned against. I’m not talking about our unbelieving friends, and I’m not talking about ‘feeling’ offended because someone has “rubbed us the wrong way”. I’m talking about when another believer sins against us, how we are to handle it. 

So what do we do when we feel that someone has sinned against us? The very first thing we should do is PRAY.  Before we even consider confronting someone about their sin, we need to seek God and ask Him to show us any sin in our own life. Through our prayer time, we should ask Him to show us the next step we are to take.  We must not react immediately in our flesh, because sometimes our flesh is wrong; but rather we are to seek the Spirit's guidance first.  In 2 Timothy 2:23, Paul says: "Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.  And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will." 

The goal between Christians, should always be repentance and reconciliation.  There should be no selfish or prideful spirit in us when approaching a brother or sister in Christ who has sinned against us.

The Bible has given us instructions for how to handle this issue.  Allow me to share Jesus' words with you:

In Matthew 18:15-18, Jesus said:

15. “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

I think Jesus’ words were pretty clear when he described the order of how things are supposed to go down when another believer sins against us. To me, this is not a “grey” or confusing issue. It is a straightforward, 3 step process, in which it seems to me that the best-case-scenario would be to try to attempt to reconcile during step 1. However, we all know that is not how things always go, due to the fact that reconciliation is an act between TWO people. Unfortunately, we cannot control the response of the other person. Let’s look a little further into step 1.

First, Jesus said “If your brother sins against you, GO and tell HIM his fault, between you and him ALONE.”

That means that we are to GO to the person directly who has sinned against us. Jesus didn’t say to go talk to another friend, or to another church member, or even to the pastor!! Jesus said to go to HIM and keep it between you and him ALONE. If the person listens and repents, then we are to forgive. (In Matthew 6:14-15 Jesus said: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”)

Seems pretty straightforward to me. However, in our churches today, people like to disguise gossip as “prayer requests”, or go to others for “advice” about how to handle a grievance with someone. I believe there are several reasons why it is best to keep things between the two people involved, but for the sake of time, let’s just say the reason is because Jesus told us to!

Unfortunately, because of our sinful nature, often times, we would rather gossip and damage our brother’s (or sister’s) reputation, than confront him/her in private. It’s ironic to me that while the thought of confronting a brother or sister in Christ might produce feelings of fear or anxiety, they do not seem to fear telling all of their friends about the offense! Instead, the gossip is somehow justified by the gossiper, and often times disguised to others as artificial care and concern.

Jesus obviously knew that not every situation would be reconciled between the two people involved, so he went on further to step 2.

Verse 16 says: “But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.”

Notice, there is an order to this. We are only supposed to move on to step 2 AFTER step 1 and only IF he/she does not listen to you when you go alone. We don’t START the process with step 2. And we don’t move to step 2 just because we are uncomfortable with step 1. We move on to step 2 IF he/she does not listen. If that is the result, THEN we are to take one or two others along so that there may be witnesses of the reconciliation process, (or so that they may witness the lack of repentance from the person being accused of sinning).

That brings us to step 3.

Vs 17. “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

This does not mean that after an unsuccessful step 2, we are to take the person before the entire congregation and announce the sin to a 1,000+ people (which is the number of church attendees in some congregations today). The more logical step to take, would be to take them before a larger group of believers within the church. If the church is in agreement that a sin has in fact been committed, then a 3rd opportunity to repent should be offered. If the offender STILL refuses to repent and be reconciled, then, after the church has used discernment through prayer and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, then, and only then, should the church dismiss him/her from the body. This doesn't mean that we no longer care for and pray for the person, we should still pray for them to seek God and repent, however, we are to cut ties with them.

There is one more thing I want to say about forgiveness. If at any point in this process, the offender repents, we MUST FORGIVE!! Right after Jesus speaks, Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive a brother who sins against him. Jesus replied “seventy-seven times”. Matthew 18:21

Why so many times? Because we have absolutely no excuse to withhold forgiveness from someone after all Jesus has forgiven US! He forgives us over and over and over, and we are to do the same with a repentant brother or sister in Christ.

Let me ask you, is this how you see things handled in the church today? If it’s not, it’s time to start holding our fellow Christians responsible. This is a weighty issue that has the potential to have either a positive or negative ETERNAL impact! If handled correctly, the impact could be forgiveness and reconciliation not only to the believers involved, but to God. If handled in the flesh, the consequences could be devastating, not only to the body of believers as a whole, but to the individuals involved.

Has someone sinned against you? Have you sinned against someone else? Go today and seek to reconcile! It was important enough for Jesus to talk about it. It should be just as important to us as believers as well. 

And please….when you go, begin with step 1.

No longer a slave!

I have a story to share with you. I hope you will take the time to read it, as I believe so many people can probably relate to the topic I'm writing about this time - FEAR.

On September 2, 2015, we had our very first Wednesday night Gathering for the church my husband and I came to Collinsville to plant.  The very next weekend, I attended a Beth Moore Simulcast with a good friend of mine.  Except for knowing each other, we were in an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar people around us.  The great thing about gathering with other believers though, is that you don't have to know each other to worship God together.  

That morning, Beth spoke about having AUDACITY.  She talked about having the WILLINGNESS to take bold risks for God, and that audacity doesn't mean being fearLESS, but rather it means having the guts to do whatever it is God is calling you to do, anyway, regardless of your fear. One of the songs that we sang together after she spoke that morning, was a song called "No Longer Slaves". Here are some of the lyrics:

You unravel me, with a melody

You surround me with a song

Of deliverance, from my enemies

Till all my fears are gone

I'm no longer a slave to fear

I am a child of God

I'm no longer a slave to fear

I am a child of God

From my mothers womb

You have chosen me

Love has called my name

I've been born again, into your family

Your blood flows through my veins...

As I was singing those words, God spoke something to me that was very clear, yet slightly overwhelming.  Not only did He show me that I had a problem with fear in my own life that I needed to give Him control of, He also showed me something that He was calling me to DO, that would require me to overcome some fears I had carried with me all my life. 

I've always had a fear of speaking to large groups of people.  However, I was able to face that fear, when I was given the opportunity to speak to the teens in our youth group on a couple of occasions, and to be one of the speakers at a couple of women's events we had at our church.  However, on this day at the simulcast, I knew what He was telling me to do, and it was not something I WANTED to do (is it ever??) He told me to SING! In front of people! And not just sing, PLAY THE PIANO!  And that I was to one day play for the people of our church!

Now, you must know, I had NEVER sang in front of people as an adult, and the last time I played the piano, was when I was in grade school! I don't even think I got past book #2 before I quit playing!  The memories I had of playing the piano, didn't go much further than "chopsticks". I couldn't even remember how to read music! Why in the WORLD would He want me to play now? And HOW was I supposed to learn?  I prayed a lot that day...and in the next few days that followed.  I finally settled in my heart, that if nothing else, I was going to learn the song I had heard at the Simulcast!  Maybe THAT would be "enough". 

We had a "beginner-type" keyboard at our house that my dad had given the kids several years prior.  I set it up, sat down, and just stared at the keys, with no idea where to even begin. I prayed "God, if you want me to do this, YOU are going to have to be my teacher!"

I prayed every day after that for God to just take my hands and teach me how to play. I messed around with that little keyboard here and there, until finally I decided I was ready to buy an "upgrade" so that I could expand my playing a little.  Very slowly, day by day, I started learning to play some songs....including the song from the simulcast, No Longer Slaves!  I DID IT!  And I must say, I felt so accomplished!  Until....God reminded me of what He spoke to me that day at that Beth Moore Simulcast....that I was to play for the people of our church.

I remember praying "Ok, God...I know you want me to play and sing for the people You have brought into our home each Wednesday, but HOW is that supposed to even work?  Afterall, I'm downstairs teaching the kids every week (1st argument). Maybe You could just bring someone into our home that can play and sing better than I can (2nd argument)?? There are so many people that are WAAAY more talented than I am (3rd argument). Are you SURE I can't just play for my own worship time (4th argument)?"  Still, after all my arguing, I felt like He was telling me to face my fear, stop comparing myself to others, and just obey Him. To be AUDACIOUS! 

So....I did.  I finally faced my fear, and goodness gracious was I a ball of nerves!  I played for the very first time this week (May 25th) at our Family Gathering.  With a living room full of adults and children, I played and I sang.  As soon as I started playing, the words got blurry on the page, and I could feel my face turning red, and a rush of nervousness came over me. But in that moment, I heard His voice saying "just obey me." So, I pushed through my pounding heart and shaky voice, and I did what He had told me to do back at the Simulcast. 

I have no idea what He is going to lead me to do in the future concerning my playing, and I still have SO much to learn, but what I DO know, is that all God was asking of me was to be obedient and step out of the boat, right into the waves of my fear, and trust Him. 

What about you?  What is He asking YOU to do that you are fearful of?  Remember, audacity is the WILLINGNESS to take bold risks.  God can use your willingness!  You don't have to be fearless, just willing!  Be BOLD! He's not going to tell you to do something and then let you fall flat on your face.  He's got you, just trust Him!

He's proven Himself faithful to me time and time again, and now I can say - I'm no longer a slave....

I need my GPS!

I have no trouble admitting that I'm terrible with driving directions. I got my first GPS around the time I first started driving, and since then, I have become very reliant on it. The truth is, I can barely go anywhere without it! Sad, I know, but it's my reality. Without my GPS, I would have ended up in some scary places I had no business being in! 

This past Wednesday marked 6 months since our very first Remedy Church gathering in our home! Since moving to Collinsville last April, we have learned so many things! We didn't know very much when we moved here about God's plan for us, except that we were supposed to move and plant a church. Beyond that, the details were "TBD". 

Planting a church on your own can be a very scary, lonely thing. A lot of people who set out to plant a church, go, knowing that they have a support system offering prayer & encouragement. Other than our immediate family (which I am SO thankful for) we were on our own. We didn't have anyone giving up tips, tools, or advice. I can see now that even that was all part of God's plan to ready us for what He was calling us to do. I believe He needed to get us alone so that we could listen clearly for HIS voice. 

That being said, when you don't have crystal clear direction starting out, you tend to just step out into the unknown and hope for the best. We prayed A LOT before making any decisions or taking any action; but even through all of our praying, we never really felt like God was giving us specific details on what we were to do. We had visions of what we thought He wanted us to do once we got to Collinsville, but nothing seemed very concrete. Through much prayer, we felt very strongly about the WHERE and the WHO of His plan for us, but we just couldn't pinpoint the WHAT and the HOW. So, we set our "GPS" to the WHERE, and we started heading in that direction. Different opportunities arose, and a couple of times we thought we had "arrived", only to hear the GPS (the Holy Spirit) say "RECALCULATING". It was frustrating and disorienting at times, especially since we knew we had input the correct destination. We knew where we were supposed to go and who we were supposed to help, but road blocks kept appearing in our path! It seemed like at every intersection, we would run into yet another blockade. However, we knew we were on the right road, so we kept putting our faith and trust in God - the voice and guide behind everything we endeavour to do. 

This past week, we got an incredible answer to our prayers! Our GPS finally zoomed in on a solid destination! We now have an exact location! We also have some answers to the "what" and even some of the "how"! There is a lot of work ahead of us, but we are determined to follow the Spirit's directions along the way, because we know He is the ONLY one who can get us to where He wants us to go, and help us do what He has called us here to do. 

When you are trying to follow God's leading, there can be some painful stops and lessons along the way, but I want to encourage you! When you come to a roadblock in your own journey, remember this...He may have to recalculate you a few times to get you exactly where He wants you to be, but if you are sensitive to the Spirit's leading, when you get there, you will hear the words "You have arrived at your destination!" and everything you have gone through to get there will be worth it!